How Can Women Battle Patriarchy? by Dolly Singh
Council Member Dolly Singh is back with her second post for the series 'Creating A Better World for Women'.
Dolly Singh is a poet, author, editor, and founder of the Delhi Poetry Festival. This month, she makes an earnest effort to shake us out of our inertia and reconsider how we react to the injustices around us.
Patriarchy runs deep in our society, and it is only because of social patriarchy that men in our society get away with horrific crimes.
Our patriarchal ecosystem is such that crime stories quickly make it to newsrooms and social media, but justice is often delayed or denied, especially when the culprit comes from a political or other influential background. This means that some men have the ‘licence’, so to speak, from their families, society, and law agencies to commit crimes against women, as they know they would get away without a scratch.
In the case of Bilkis Bano, the perpetrators of injustice were welcomed with garlands and tilak when they were released after a short stint in jail, as though they were freedom fighters who had been imprisoned for their rebellion against colonial power!
Why isn’t our blood boiling? Why don’t women and men take to the streets when women are raped, killed, or cut into pieces and stashed in the fridge?
The truth is, we are all, directly or indirectly, contributing to this unjust patriarchal system by keeping quiet.
But what can we really do? you may ask. We can take small steps.
1. At the workplace, if you see a woman being bullied, intimidated, or subjected to sexual advances, stand up for her. Try to persuade your colleagues to support you in this effort. Although it is understood that everyone is worried about their own position in the workplace, if you raise one voice, rest assured, more voices will join you.
2. In public places, metros, buses, and trains, keep a watchful eye for the Romeos and gropers who harass young girls. Don’t look away and act as if you didn’t see. Next time, it could be a young girl from your own family or friends!
3. At every step, every occasion, and in places where you find women being leered at or mocked, voice your objection. Do not tolerate anyone in your family talking down to a woman.
4. Every little step that we take to resist male supremacy will go a long way in ensuring that the society around us is more respectful and secure for women.
5. Are you as a mother grooming your son to grow up into a sensitive, empathetic and respectful person? If you notice, the menace of patriarchy starts at home, where sons are let off easily and where mothers protect their sons from any reprimand due to them. Yes, I re-assert that mothers have to educate their sons and teach them to respect women and consider them as equals.
6. Women have to be fearless and call out men who do them injustice. If they do not have the courage do to so, they can confide in elders of the family or a trusted friend. But they must not cower in fear. This only emboldens their perpetrators.
7. Fall in love, but put that blindfold aside. It’s not good to be blind in love if you do not want to end up a victim. Love should be empowering and not enslaving.
8. Finally, marriage is an agreement to live together in love and mutual respect. No one is superior in a marriage. It has to be a match of equals. Partners who respect and love each other raise happier children with high moral values.
We need to be responsible for ourselves and our well-being and status in society. We need to find our voice and address the issues that torment us silently every day.
As I conclude this piece, I look forward to your thoughts, experiences and observations on the above points. Together we can bring about change, one step at a time!
Love and light,
Dolly Singh
Read Dolly’s first post in this series, Patriarchy, A Deep-Rooted Malaise.